Smile at Fear
Fear. It’s one of those things that are a part of our everyday life whether we realize it or not. Don’t realize it? Well, everyday your life is full of decisions. Decisions on what to wear, what to eat, how much to eat, what project to tackle next at work, how to respond to an email, to smile or not to smile, to have a positive attitude or not, or to go to the gym or not. I mean we make decisions Every. Single. Day.
So, what keeps us from making the best decisions for ourselves…FEAR. This four-letter word holds so much weight to it. It is such a depressing word. It drives how we make decisions each and every day. It stands in the way of making a simple decision like, do I buy this top I love, or do I put it back in fear of what others might think of it because it is a little out there? What a crazy thought! It’s your life, wear what you want to wear!
Let me make something clear though. This post is not about personal style or clothes. I am here today to talk about fear and ways to make decisions without fear in mind. This is not an easy task especially if the decision is a life changing one.
So, are you in the midst of making big changes in your life? Are you contemplating your career path, your current location of living, or just your future in general? Then keep reading sister, because you’re not the only one!
Sometimes it’s brings a sense of comfort knowing it’s not just you in this season of life. Surround yourself with those in the same season or read from women who are in the same place. That’s one way to tell fear good bye, talk it out of your life with those you surround yourself with!
For me, one thing I constantly am thinking is how do I know I’m in the right career? I am a young professional but still feel there is more out there for me. I have been going through internal conversations for the past three years asking myself what life would be like if I went out on my own fully and committed to building my business which has had slow growth. The thoughts of fear I have are; “Why would you do that when you have a stable income?”, “You probably won’t get big like you want.”, “You have so much to learn you can’t figure it out.”, “You’re not going to cut it, you don’t know enough about the industry to make a move.” As I write that I am cringing because how could I talk to myself that way? I have to STOP! I have to change the conversation in my head. Deep down I have a vision for myself, but I stop myself from not moving forward because I create these fearful outcomes if I do move forward.
It’s scary to go out on a limb and risk everything to do something like going from a solid income, health insurance, and a retirement fund, to possibly no income for some time, working alone, staying accountable and disciplined to getting things done each day, and just the constant thought of worrying about money. If you hear me on this can I get an Amen!
I mean we all have these thoughts, its normal but now we have to work on changing our inner dialogue and getting a plan together for how we move forward with our life changing decisions.
One thing I recommend is to plan very intentionally. I found a book a little over a year ago titled How To Jump: If the Job You Have Isn’t the Life You Want By: Mike Lewis. This book came into my hands like a Godsend. I was wandering around Barnes and Noble one afternoon trying to find THE book to meet my current state of mind in which to bring me clarity. I had found Girl Boss and Girl Code some of those very popular and wonderful books out there. Then, I went back to the section where I found Girl Code to replace it because it had some bends in the pages. Meanwhile, I looked up, and right in front of me was How To Jump. I will never forget that moment, because it truly felt like a lightning bolt had hit me and I knew this was the book for me.
I purchased all three books in my hands and immediately went home to read Lewis’ book. I couldn’t put it down. It is comprised of short stories of people who have “jumped” from one career into another. I truly recommend reading this book because it gave me so much clarity and great advice as to how to move forward.
I realized a couple of things while reading this book that you can take from me today.
1) You CAN make the jump
2) You HAVE to plan it
3) Be smart about your decision and have everything ready before jumping
4) Fear will be there during these times of change, but you have to smile at it
So many times, you hear I quit my job and sold everything I have. Realistically, sure you can do that. You can do anything you want, but if you rely only on your income you do have to be smart about how you proceed. You have to look at fear and say, “I know I can do this it will just take some time. You will not get in the way my dream or future. I am bigger than you, I am more than a four-letter word like yourself.”
This may seem silly but anytime you have a fearful thought speak to it and say what’s stated above or anything you feel at that moment. Be self-aware of your thoughts in order to conquer that petty four-letter word so you can move in right direction towards your goal.
I use this strategy EVERY. SINGLE. TIME and I can feel the internal conversations I have with myself shift to a more positive outcome. Each day I work towards my dream I can see the outcome even more clearly and have more clarity. I make decisions every day to work more towards the end goal and I don’t let fear control me. My future and my decisions are in my control and therefore I will change what I can.
This plan will take two more years for me. I need that much time to reach my goal, save what I can, create each day, learn more about every aspect of the industry, network and make more connections, and make the growth I have been making plus. I CAN do it, I WILL do it, and you can too, sister!
Smile at fear and kiss it goodbye! It will no longer be in your way!